Thursday, February 04, 2010

Melancholy

rose

My mother died in her sleep today, 70 years old.

I wish things could have been different,
and that she would have chosen her grandkids and family,
instead of alcohol and pills,
many years ago,
when she had the chance.

I am glad I  had the strength to be strong for my girls,
and that they have not had to live through the hell with alcoholism and drug abuse!

I have often missed you and the relationship we could have had !
Rest in peace mum.

82 comments:

Stasia said...

I'm so sorry for your loss - and also for what you must have gone through due to your mother's choices.

I congratulate you on giving your daughters a strong example!

Sending you hugs today.

Joanne said...

I am so sorry to hear your news.
It is wonderful that you chose a different path, not everyone does.
I wish you and your family all the best.<3

Gudveig HN said...

Kondolerer! Det er trist å miste mor, selv om du kanskje på mange måter føler at du har mistet henne for lenge siden, slik som du beskriver henne.
Jeg VET hvordan det kan være, min mor hadde de samme problemene, til hun døde, 70 år gml.
Jeg tenker på deg, og føler med deg i sorgen! Klem....

Wenche said...

Mine tanker går til deg og dine, Hanne.....

Andee said...

Sorry about the loss of your mom..twice...life should not be so hard. I am glad you overcame for yourself and your children!

Lappetausa said...

Har gråte nokre tårer både for deg og meg i kveld, føler med deg!

Miranne said...

Tenker på deg, Hanne.

Lappestua said...

Klem fra meg

Terry said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. :0(

Tazzie said...

I'm so sorry for your loss Hanne, you and your family are in my thoughts.
*hugs*
Tazzie

Carolyn said...

Sorry for your loss Hanne
I lost my dad to cancer after a lifetime of enduring his alcohol antics/trials but when he got cancer he stopped drinking and for three years we got to see the real man behind the bottle...what a blessing that was..who would think cancer would be the thing that made him stop drinking when he couldn't all those years for his family...sigh

Paula said...

I'm so sorry for you loss. But good for you creating the kind of life you wanted with your girls. Hugs, Paula

Chocolate Cat said...

Thinking of you at this time as you struggle with memories and what may of been. Be kind to yourself xxx

Sissel H.S said...

Mange klemmer fra meg til deg, Sissel

Sally Annie Magundy said...

I am so very sorry for your loss and for the missed opportunities and the should-have-beens and could-have-beens!

Sending you lots and lots of hugs, my ex-husband was an alcoholic drug addict. I can only imagine how hard and heartbreaking it must be when it is your parent who is a substance abuser.

Take care and be gentle with yourself.

Sally

ranette said...

I am so sorry Hanne for your loss and proud of you at the same time for choosing the better path for yourself and your girls.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Annette said...

My heart goes out to you. What a hard thing to go through. I admire the life you have chosen to live in spite of everything and the beauty you create and share with your quilting talent.

Priscilla said...

(((Big Cyber Hugs))) for you.

Nadine said...

Dear Hanne,
my best and heartful thoughts are with you....
With a BIG, friendly (((HUG)))
NADINE

Marianne said...

I am so sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself at this time!
Marianne in Vermont

tami said...

I'm sorry to hear about your mom. It is sad when people make bad choices. I am sorry for all of the things that could have been.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Cathy said...

God bless you and yours always! You chose love inspite of everything!

dianne said...

i grieve with thee

my own children have watched as their father has struggled with the same demons ... i do understand your pain ... take good care

Jackie said...

Hanne, I am so sorry for your loss and the suffering. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

northernknitter said...

Sending peace, strength and healing thoughts for the days ahead. Grief has many stages, be kind to yourself in the midst of this stage of life's journey.

QuiltingFitzy said...

Hugs & love Hanne.

Grew up in it; married it and have left it far behind.

You're a tremendously strong woman who learned how to make the good choices in life when others did not.

Dwell on the positive, and remember her fondly.

Pat said...

Hanne, I am so very sorry. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers at this very difficult time. Be safe and may God bless you. Big Hugs.

Deb said...

Hanne, I am so sad for your loss and for the special things that you have missed sharing with your Mum. Be thankful you had driven down the right path for who you are and your family.
hugs Deb

Yvette said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I lived through much of the same with my father and I completely understand. God Bless you and your family.

LuAnn said...

Hanne I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Just Ramblin' said...

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. But, I am very proud of you for the choices you have made. My father was an alcoholic and it made it very difficult for our family. I, too, was determined that this would not affect my children and my life. We have been successful, but sad that he wasn't able to enjoy his grandchildren. May the Lord bless and comfort you and yours at this time.

Joy said...

Such sad news Hanne, I wish life could have been different for you. Good for you for having the strength to make a good life for you and your family.
Hugs,
Joy

mreteveian said...

kondolerer, - trist og tøft.

vonnie said...

Sorry for your loss, dear Hanne. I know your Mom had a beautiful success in her life: you. God bless you and your family with His peace.

jofridsquilt said...

Kondolerer. Det er trist å miste ei mor uansett. Godt at du og døtrene dine er sterke. Eg tenkjer på deg. Lykke til vidare framover. Klem Frå Jofrid

Carmen said...

Hanne, please accept my condolences on the loss of your mom. I hope you find comfort in the company of your other family members.

Monika said...

Heisan Hanne ;)
Kondolerer - tenker på deg og dine, ikkje lett dette .
Smil fra monika

Hanne-Kristine said...

Kondolere Hanne, måtte du finne styrke i dine nærmeste og velsigne deg og dine. Varm klem Hanne-Kristine

Ingaredstoka said...

Beklagar, jättetrist. Tänker på dig och de dina! Kram

B_Blogg said...

Klem og mange gode tanker til deg og dine!Hilsen Bodil

countrycosy said...

All my condolences Hanne, to you and your family.

Sew Create It - Jane said...

(((hugs))) my thoughts are with you and your family.

Barbara said...

Oh, Hanne, what a strange mixture of feelings you must be experiencing, good and bad memories together. I am sorry for your sadness and I am very happy that you 'changed the pattern' set before you - your daughters will want to be like you; that is a big achievement and a reward. I hope you have a peaceful day to think about her, xxx

Miriam said...

((hugs))

take care

aquiltlady.blogspot.com said...

Kondulerer,Hanne,det er alltid vondt og spesielt å miste sin mor. Tenker på deg,klem fra Grethe.

Meredith said...

Sorry for your loss. I am proud of you for choosing a different life for you and your family. Hugs

Sigrun said...

Kondolerer Hanne. Uansett hvordan ting har vært så har hun vært mamma'n din og det rører nok mange følelser i hodet ditt om dagen. Vær stolt av det du har klart med dine barn. Tenker på deg. Klem.

amelia said...

I am sorry for your loss, Hanne. As you said, may your mum's soul rest in peace.
You are a wonderful wonderful woman. I'm sure she was very proud of you.

2ne said...

Kondolerer. Mine tanker går til deg og dine i en tung stund :-) Klem

StarQuilt said...

Kondolerer kjære du. Alkohol er ødeleggende for mange parter.Hadde det slik selv, og har glemt mye fra min barndom. Kanskje like bra. Masse klemmer til deg. Ta vare på dine.

aqdb said...

dear Hanne,
it is difficult for me to confort you in english, but I want you to know I think to you and feel compassion.
my mother died when she was 41 and my father when he was 73.
even we are prepared it is never like we thougth to lost our parents.
glad you choosed the life you wanted.
friendly
Marie from France

siv hege said...

My heart weeps for you and your girls.

hobbyogquiltekitty said...

Gode tanker til deg Hanne.

Satu said...

Dear Hanne, I'll send you some heartful thoughts, too. Hugs...

Sølvi's blog said...

Føler med deg. Masse varme tanker fra oss her til alle dere. Klem

Anne-Grethe said...

Trist å høre. Tenker på deg og dine. Er glad du valgte en annen vei og stiller opp for din egen familie. Klem fra meg.

Sylvan Woman said...

The loss of one's mother is especially difficult. My mother and I were never close and her passing thirty years ago is still difficult sometimes.

I light a candle for you and your family and one for your mother. You will find peace in your heart. Your quilting friends support you.
Cathy in Shipshe

Merete said...

Kondolerer! Tenker på deg og dine. Klemmer fra Merete

Encarna said...

Un beso

Encarna

Pam said...

Dear Hanne, thinking of you and your family during this sad time

Pam M, Australia

Mary on Lake Pulaski said...

Wishing you peace at this difficult time Hanne.

ale balanzario said...

Im sorry for your loss Hanne, its hard for me to comfort you in english, but Im proud of you and the way you chosen to live for you and your girls

I send you a hug,
for you and your girls

Ale
from Mexico.

Anne said...

Tenker på dere.

tinaquilt said...

My thoughts are with you.

Bietje said...

Hanne,
I wish you the strength that you need to overcome this loss. I'll pray that your mixed feelings will be organised in some way.
May she rest in peace.

Stina said...

Stor kram till dig Hanne...
Tänker på dig och de dina... jag vet precis vad alkohol problem kan ställa till med.. Glad att du har styrkan..

LeKaQuilt said...

Kjære Hanne, jeg kondolerer! Jeg tenker på deg og din familie. Trist å minste mamma to ganger, slik som du har gjot.
En stor klem fra meg.

Caryn said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I dealt with the same issues with my mother so I have an idea of what you are feeling now. Despite her demons your mom raised you and you seem like a great person! Try to focus on the good memories as you heal. God Bless.

Bricoles Textiles said...

Hugs ...
just to say : wera stand by you and your family

Beverley said...

Hugs.

Litamora's Quilt & Design said...

Kondolerer, Hanne. Tenker på deg, og håper du til tross for omstendighetene har det bra. Du er sterk. Klem,
Laila

pamdux said...

May the good Lord bless you and comfort you in this time of need. Remember to always be their for them. My prayers are with you.

regnbuesting said...

Kondolerer, Hanne. Nå begynner en ny fase av sorgen, og på andre siden av den vil du være enda sterkere. Klem fra Elisabeth.

G'G'ma said...

May you find peace in your heart and may love of family and friends surround you. Feel the warmth of all the cyber ((hugs)).

Eva said...

Tänker på dig och din familj. Varma kramar till er alla.

Angelcat said...

Sorry to hear your sad news. My thoughts are with you and your family

suz said...

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss Hanne. My Mom and I weren't close until the last year or so before she passed away. I cherish that brief time but feel so sad for the other 58 wasted years.

mommi said...

Im sorry for your loss. My mom passed one month ago today. I was in a similar situation but only with alcohol...we had a good childhood, but couldve been better without the drinking. Im sorry again.

Pen Pen said...

I'm so sorry... God bless you and your family!

Jeanne said...

Hanne, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. You and your family are in my prayers. Sending hugs...

Loretta said...

So sorry for the loss of your mum and what might have been. So great you have broken the cycle with your girls. Hugs...Loretta SE Alaska

Evelyn aka Starfishy said...

I'm sorry to read of your loss Hanne, it is not easy to lose a parent no matter the circumstances. Gather your family close and give yourself time to grieve during this time. -Evelyn